Narcissus at the Beach

Written for the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge with a word limit of 300.

The prompts: This story must contain the words: tourist, sunscreen, camera

Narcissus at the Beach

Stanley eyed the young couple suspiciously.

If they put any more suntan lotion on that baby, its going to squirt out of its mom’s arms like a melon seed, he thought with smug satisfaction. He never used any sunscreen since his own salon-imbued tan was perfect … if one didn’t get too close. Years of the practice had given his skin somewhat of a tree bark, leathery texture. Still, he was certain that he was looking good.

Strutting down the boardwalk, Stanley imagined he could feel the eyes of young girls ogling him hungrily. His assumption was that what looked good fifteen years ago, still looked good today. In reality, he was one mirror short of being able to see the huge Speedo-swallowing butt crack that had served as a counterweight to his more than generous beer belly.

The beach was crowded today. Damn tourist season, he mumbled out loud while secretly feeling pleased with the larger audience. Looking around, he found a nice spot for his towel and ice chest. After a few stretches, he started off on a slow jog down the beach. In his younger days, he called this “trolling”. He still thought of it as such but admittedly, there hadn’t been too many bites lately.

Ten minutes and half a mile later, a profusely sweating walrus shaped Stanley was beginning to rethink the whole “jogging on the beach” thing. As he lumbered past a family, he heard a little girl yell to her parents, “Mom, get the camera and take a picture of that fat man running down the beach.”

Stanley chuckled at the thought. If he hadn’t been so tired, he would have taken the time to look around to see the fat man for himself.